Surfing a high wave and unhappy

Veena met me when she was in a low place.

An entrepreneur in her 50s running her third venture. The first two were successful and sold off.

‘I am low in energy. I seem to have lost my mojo and am wondering what is happening,’ she said.

‘I have been on antidepressants for a year now. My mood is okay but overall I am not feeling great.’

After clarifying that she has had some support in therapy and understanding that she wished to explore her work life, we agreed to have six sessions of coaching.

Over the last few years, she had:
✔️Been a high energy leader, led large teams effectively
✔️Grown successful with her sharp business mind
✔️Taken no break in her life ever

Juggling businesses, homes in multiple cities, on the boards of two charitable institutions, Rotary president in her city, a golf and badminton enthusiast. A Type A person.

A rocky relationship and loss of her child set off a depressive episode. She slowed down a bit due to this.

Her now:
She revealed that her interest in her business has reduced and she felt drawn to other things. She seems attracted to working with her body and health, spending time on her farm and working with the theme of road accidents and safety. She lost her son in an accident and was drawn to start an organisation dedicated to building awareness on this aspect.

She was finding it hard to cope with it and couldn’t believe that her interest in her business had waned. She was angry with herself due to her loss of energy. She said, ‘I am tired of myself being so slow, not sleeping well, and being in a fog.’

The core of her breakdown:

She grew up in a home where she was encouraged to always be on top of her game, achieve more, and pursue many courses and activities in her student life. She became this person who was a workaholic, took on large, audacious goals, and achieved them.

Go, Go, Go became her way of life.

So what does a woman do when she is faced with the loss and death of a child?
What does one do when one’s body needs to slow down but one does not want to?
What does one do when one is drawn in a different direction but doesn’t allow oneself to move there?

The mind-body gets depressed, loses energy, loses focus.
Each day becomes heavy.
Work is a burden.

These deeply held assessments about herself and her life needed revisiting. The assessments we hold on to often become the lens through which we look at the world and there are times in our leadership journey when this lens needs cleaning.

💬 ‘Get on with it’
💬 ‘Don’t waste your time on feelings’
💬 ‘Brave hearts move on’
💬 ‘You are worth it only if you are doing big things’
💬 ‘You are only as worth as what you create and produce’
💬 ‘Your worth and value are based on your successes’
💬 ‘Succeed at all costs’
💬 ‘Keep moving ahead is the only way’

Growing up again meant updating her beliefs and habits: 

🙏 Learning to accept that she misses her son deeply and is sad
🙏 Acknowledging that she misses having a close relationship and companionship
🙏 Even as a leader she can pause and she deserves to
🙏 Slowing down is not luxury but it is a way of rest and renewal
🙏 She can choose to do what calls her even if it is a small effort
🙏 Big and audacious is not always the best
🙏 Her stage of life and its demands on mind and body are important
🙏 She is worthy even if she wasn’t producing and creating

We worked for 1 year revamping her life in the above areas.

She hired a CEO for her business and started her NGO which she wished to focus on. The psychiatrist decided to wean her off her medication slowly. She was finding her mojo, her energy and her smile again!

Where are you resisting life and not accepting the path it is asking you to take?
Where are you quieting your inner voice and wisdom?

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